k e i t h e d w a r d p a u g h

Wooly Mammoths lived a long time ago here on Earth, before dogs and rabbits but after the dinosaurs were gone. They lived in the North, which used to be a lot bigger and had some men with spears in it.

The Wooly Mammoths did not have mobile phones, so they had to use walkie-talkies or complex hand signals to communicate across vast distances.

Humans and Wooly Mammoths were almost the same except humans had thumbs and were more idealistic and Mammoths had a highly developed sense of irony and sarcasam, which we got from them at a later date.

The Wooly Mammoths had poor table manners, but they tipped well.

The Wooly Mammoths were great bargain hunters, but usually purchased goods and services which they did not need or especially want, except as fleeting interests.

The Wooly Mammoths were fond of gross generalizations and lewd puns, usually at the expense of The Giant Ground Sloth or some type of flightless bird.

When in familial groups, the Wooly Mammoths derived a good deal of humor from farting, and enjoyed seafoood whenever they could get it.

The Wooly Mammoths enjoyed the sun but had a hard time getting up in the morning.

– Jay Ryan