Confession

by keithpaugh

Yesterday the Elders Quorum made breakfast for a Break-The-Fast meal. I had mentioned earlier to the EQP that they should add bacon to their menu, which he so kindly did.

Well, they bought a lot of bacon. About 10 pounds worth even, but as luck would have it they were practically out by the time I was making my breakfast burrito and I only got two pieces. You can see how this was insufficient.

I quickly ducked into the kitchen and encouraged the men to keep frying.

Meanwhile, one of the family wards had returned to the building for choir practice, and a few children had found our breakfast spread. We graciously shared what was left with them.

I had just finished my burrito when an announcement was made to the cultural hall that more bacon was now ready. I took my time getting back to the buffet tables as not to appear too eager, and in those two minutes all the bacon was gone. I asked Lowell (a federal agent), standing by the empty platter what had happened, and learned the kids had rushed the table. I said,

“Lowell, as a federal agent, don’t you have the authority to stop their little hands from taking my bacon?”

(Ed. note: “I’ll take your bacon.”)

(Ed note: No flirting on the Blog.)

As we were talking about this, a new batch of grease hot bacon was brought out of the kitchen. I thanked the cook for the new supply and went to grab a plate when the bacon thieves returned. They circled the table and began reaching in for the crispy delicious.

I cried out, “Hey!” and Lowell took his cue to reprimand the three boys.

“Now, kids. I think you’ve had plenty of our food. Go and find your parents.”

The boys ran out of the room about to cry, and I ran out too. Paris had already stopped them to let them know Lowell was joking. I felt so bad. My bacon addiction had broken the feelings of innocent children. They like bacon just as much as me.

This is when I realized I might have a bacon problem.

– Marilyn Lau