k e i t h e d w a r d p a u g h

The rain was coming down harder now. Big, deliberate drops hitting my windshield. My wiper blades worked furiously to allow for some degree of visibility. This time, I was in downtown Dallas. And I was alone, which meant full opportunity to relish in the delight of being lost – meandering through an unfamiliar part of town, learning new street names and becoming acquainted with the city of which I’d lived on the outskirts most of my life – all without any anxious passengers getting concerned or panicked because we didn’t know our exact coordinates. What delicious adventure! I don’t know where it came from for me or where it had started – this thrill of getting turned around in a big city and having to find my way out. But it occurs to me now that it’s only when I lose myself in a city that the city becomes mine. It’s only in getting lost and finding my own way out that I ever feel like I belong to a place; only in getting comfortable with not knowing exactly where I am, do I truly learn where I fit. Looking at a map and following it to the letter is effective for going from point A to point B, true. But sometimes the unplanned deviations end up leading us somewhere we could never have expected, or even considered, while teaching us a lot about what lies beyond the narrow confines of the direct route.

So why is it that my sense of adventure diminishes when it is not among city streets which I have lost my way, but rather life’s paths? Somehow the panic that I am normally able to deflect deep in the heart of a metropolitan center takes hold as I struggle to navigate through the more abstract trails of my life.

It is only in getting lost that perspective comes. Only in steering through the twists and turns that I am able to discover for myself how the pieces fit together – to understand where I am in relation to God’s will for me. And only in being forced to learn how the roads interconnect can the final destination be clearly seen relative to its surroundings. With that panoramic view, how much more does ‘Point B’ appear to be the right place? How much clearer is my perspective as I stand “amid the eternal ways” which have ultimately led me here?

“‘Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

– Chelsea Combs